Coping with the reality that your marriage is ending may leave you feeling uncertain and emotional. Even more complicated is sharing the news with your children and doing your best to help them understand the situation.
Your diligence in providing relevant and appropriate details in a respectful manner may enable you to provide them with just the right amount of information to move forward.
The danger of oversharing
While you may feel intensely emotional about the changes in your relationship, voicing your frustrations freely is not a good idea around your children. Deeply personal or emotional conversations need to happen but have a more appropriate place in a therapy session or over lunch with a close friend.
Your children deserve to have support in forming their own opinions of and relationship with your soon-to-be-ex without bias or manipulation which you may unintentionally cause during moments of high emotion. Oversharing information threatens the danger of creating or worsening confusion, anger and anxiety in your children when they hear details and stories that prove difficult to understand.
The power of civility
According to Psychology Today, topics that are too heavy or outright inappropriate to discuss with your children may include challenging financial matters, affairs and legal troubles such as an arrest. Your ability to filter details out of consideration for the ages, understanding, and well-being of your children may make a considerable difference in their ability to cope and move on.
Your discussions about your divorce and your effort to answer their questions are things you can accomplish in a respectful and civil manner. Your decision may allow you to maintain a positive reputation which may also support your case and give you peace of mind.